A Christmas Classic

"Jail house rock"

Crandall Claus

About 10 years ago, Crandall, Gilly, Tag, T-bone and I loaded into Tbones VWrabbit desiel to go to Columbus for the christmas classic. We got to the convention center and saw a bunch of our friends. That night a ton of dudes went to the bar there and got ripped. Everyone was getting nuts. JV decided it would be a good idea to toss a glass table down a fight of stairs. It shattered all over at the bottom. The cops came and all hell broke lose. They were arresting dudes all over. Crandall and I hauled ass to the elevator and the cops came screamming over not wanting dudes to get on and leave. The doors were shutting and the cops were running for it just as the doors shut I flipped the cops the bird and up we went laughing our asses off. Tag came up a bit later and his face was beat red and his eyes were fucked. The cops had mased the shit out of him. He was telling that he and Gilly were getting on and the cops grabed gilly's arm and he jerked away which sent the cops in a tizzy. They cuffed Gilly and took him to jail.

They shut down the elevators keeping everyone on their floors. We had plenty of beer so it wasn't a prob to us. Crandall was stressin pretty bad about Gilly being in jail. Crand and I thought we would give eachother black eyes for Xmas so we swaped punches to the face for a bit. That was the first time I met Kieth Mulligan. I'm not sure what he thought about that from the way he was watching us deck the piss out of each other. Crandall was sayin how gilly can't be in the clink alone. After a shit load of stessing about it Crandall pounded a few beers and said somebody has to go with Gilly and how he can't be in there alone (he had never been to jail).

So crand told us he would see us later and that he had to go to jail to be with Gilly. He walked to of the room went up to 2 cops and told them that they were peices of shit and to fuck off or something along those lines. They cuffed him and away he went.

The next day Tag an I went out street riding. We met up with a ton of dudes. That dude Evil from muncie indiana was with us. He was feebling down long steep hand rail back when that stuff wasn't done often. Wing ding and I got back to the convention center and started passing a hat and everyone chipped in and we got and bond and they would be let out monday morning, it was saturday. We went to a keg party that night and the same JV dude thought it would be cool to toss the empty keg through a cars winshield. Turned out that the car belonged to the host throwin the party. Dude came out decked JV's eye so hard it make a smack sound.

Monday morning came and Tbone and I when to get Gilly and Crandall out after their court. We got there and people were outside protesting with signs out how dudes have gone to jail there and end up hanged. Those 2 came out in the court room with the orange jail jump suits on and flip flops. Gilly being so tall they didn't have a suit to fit him so his were high waters half way up his calfs. They were bummed looking. All I could think is that it looked like a episode of Abbott and Costello go to jail. On Crandalls way out He said some skinny black dude in his cell said"Jail house rock" as he walked by. We packed up and went to chenga and rode. That night we got a room in that roachy motel right by chenga. Everyone was beat and wanted to sleep. I wanted to kill the 18 pack we had because it was our last night. I was keeping them up so I went into the bathroom, drank the beer and read the phone book. I got the idea of rolling up a little piece and i stuck it between the toes on gilly while he was sleepin. I lit it on fire and it worked perfect. It burned down and woke gilly up screaming. It was my first hot foot. We woke and it was zero out. The rabbit wouldn't start we bump started it and headed home to NY. Rabbit was running shitty over heating. We couldn't shut it off or it would'nt start again. We got home real late shut it off and it never started again. It was a Xmas I'll never forget.

Thanks, Old Bastard Behind Bars, Kelly